Before/After Copywriting
Side-by-side copy transformations with the strategic reasoning behind every change. You don’t just see the rewrite, you see exactly why the original wasn’t working and what principle drove the fix.
Audit Sample
Live Rewrite Excerpt from an Estate Planning Firm Homepage
Before
“Our attorneys provide compassionate, comprehensive estate planning services tailored to your unique needs and goals.”
Why it fails
This is the most common sentence in estate planning marketing. ‘Compassionate’ and ‘comprehensive’ are claimed by every firm, so you can guarantee your perspective client has seen it at least ten times already. ‘Unique needs’ is overly-vague filler. It doesn’t make anyone feel seen, heard, or understood. The reader yawns, and scrolls past.
Fix 1
“Most people put off estate planning because they don’t want to think about it. Honestly, nobody does. But, after one 90-minute meeting with us, you’ll create a plan that protects your family and doesn’t need revisiting for years.”
Why it works
Opens by naming the real objection (avoidance, people don’t want to talk about dying, it’s not cost or confusion). Reframes the process as low-effort and finite. Gives a concrete outcome, empathetic of the readers needs. The reader feels understood instead of sold to.
Real Examples
Here’s how it works in practice.
Landing Page Headline
Project management tool for remote teams
Before
“Collaborate Better with Advanced Project Management Software”
After
“Stop losing track of who’s doing what. Get your remote team back in sync without pestering.”
Why
Original was generic and product-focused. New version speaks to the actual pain (confusion) and the outcome (alignment). Shorter. More specific. Test result: 18% CTR increase.
Email Subject Line
Fitness coaching program
Before
“Check Out Our New Feature Updates!”
After
“The one thing I wish I knew before my first workout (it’s not what you think)”
Why
Original is vague and uncompelling. New version creates curiosity + specificity + teases a counterintuitive insight. Opens increased 34%. CTR increased 28%.
Estate Planning Services Page
Estate planning & probate law firm
Before
“Our firm provides comprehensive estate planning services including wills, trusts, probate administration, and tax planning strategies for high-net-worth individuals.”
After
“Most people don’t want to think about death. We do it so you don’t have to. One meeting, one clear plan, peace of mind knowing your family won’t fight over what comes next.”
Why
Original is formal boilerplate that obscures the actual value (peace of mind). Rewrite speaks to the emotional pain point and outcome. Avoided dense jargon. Consultation bookings increased 28%.
The Before
Generic headlines that could belong to any competitor
Feature dumps with no emotional resonance
Weak CTAs that don’t create urgency
Copy that talks about the product instead of the buyer
The After
Headlines that stop the scroll and speak to a specific pain
Benefit-driven copy that makes the reader feel understood
CTAs that give the buyer a reason to act now
A clear narrative arc from problem → solution → proof → action
The Strategic Layer
Every rewrite includes annotations explaining the ‘why’
I reference proven persuasion frameworks (PAS, AIDA, etc.)
Voice and tone are calibrated to match the target audience
Want this done for your business?
No templates. No boilerplate. A real diagnosis of what’s actually stopping your intake from converting, from someone who’s been inside 1,200+ funnels and understands legal marketing from the inside.
